Nachos.

I love nachos. There is nothing else in the world that can make my day better than nachos. It doesn't matter if they are simple with just salsa and cheese, lathered in a beautiful black bean mess, or stacked a mile high with every topping under the sun. I love them and will eat them - all of them - any day, any time, forever.

The only things I might love almost as much as nachos would be chips and salsa or potatoes. I also like both of those. Very much.

Gold Stars

I just came home and my husband had suprise rented the movie FAME for the two of us to watch tonight. He gets 6 gold stars.

If you need a refresher, here is the fame trailor I previously posted. The movie came out this summer, but I'm pretty sure I posted this out of excitement back in May.

My Life is Average

My new obsession is MLIA. Some of you have probably seen it before, but if not here are some highlights and reasons why you should start now.

"Today I married a supermodel. Our house is huge and has a pool surrounding it. All the other Sims are jealous. MLIA."

"Today, I was at the convenience store when I saw some pads on sale. Being a complete fiend where using pads were concerned, I grabbed fourteen packages and plunked it down onto the counter. Instead of looking embarrassed, the male cashier casually asked, "Preparing for a flood?" There was then an awkward silence. MLIA."

"Today, I was going through my schools list of rules. I noticed that pantsing someone would be a loss of 25 merits, and a week of suspension. It also said that a terrorist threat/bomb threat was a loss of 25 merits and a week of suspension. I'm glad that pulling down someone's pants is just as bad as exploding your school. MLIA."

"Today, we got our Calculus tests back. The teacher said that there were only two people who got the extra credit right. Confused, most of the class complains that their answer was actually correct. The extra credit question? "Name a character from the popular Twilight series." I wrote "who cares" and my best friend simply wrote "No." We were the only two to get credit. My calculus teacher rocks. MLIA."

"Today, we had a new girl in my first period class. She looked like one of those stuck-up cheerleader-type girls, so I was a bit annoyed when she sat down next to me. A few minutes into class, the new girl's phone rang. Her ringtone? The pokemon theme song. I will never stereotype again. MLIA."

...and for the win!

"Today, my mom told me about the first time I asked where babies come from. It turns out all she did was hand me a pencil and said "go sharpen this." MLIA."

Too Early?

It is 12:07pm. Is it too early for me to be putting Amaretto in my coffee? No. No it is not. Not today.

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

So, it has been over a month since I've blogged (sorry, fans!) and a lot of things have happened since then. For example, I bought a new wallet, my husband started roasting coffee and I also became a professional roller dancer and went to nationals in Nebraska. Another thing that happened was that I was nominated for a blog award by my friend Mallory (thanks Mal!).


The blog comes with a one-word quiz/survery thing that you're supposed to copy and paste (and answer) and then you're supposed to nominate others for the award and pass it on. Here it goes!

1. Where is your cell phone? here
2. Your hair? dumb
3. Your mother? awesome
4. Your father? douche
5. Your favorite food? chipsandsalsa
6. Your dream last night? none
7. Your favorite drink? wine
8. Your dream/goal? beawesomeforJesus
9. What room are you in? livingroom
10. Your hobby? dance
11. Your fear? grossthingslikesnakes
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? somewherefun
13. Where were you last night? smallgroup
14. Something you aren't? boring
15. Muffins? espressochocolatechip
16. Wish list item? bichonpuppy
17. Where did you grow up? VancouverWA
18. Last thing you did? dishes
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Your TV? old
21. Your pets? CallieandLibertybutthey'reatmymom's
2. Your friends? thebest
23. Your life? sofun
24. Your mood? happy
25. Missing someone? always
26. Vehicle? greatgrandpa'staurus
27. Something you're not wearing? boxerbriefs
28. Your favorite store? nordstrom
29. Your favorite color? purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? work
31. Last time you cried? yesterdaybyaccident
32. Your best friend? silly
33. One place that I go over and over? Lorenzo's
34. One person who emails me regularly? mygrandpaforwardsmeeveryday
35. Favorite place to eat? AZTECA

I'm really good at this one word thing. Obviously. I hope this was informative to all parties involved! And now for my nominations:
Neil Diamond/Nicole @ Nicole is So Interesting
Handysnacks/Rachel @ Deep Thoughts by Rachel Handy

Happy blog awarding!

R.I.P.

My Pumas
2006-2009
Ashley's Puma shoes were laid to rest today after 3 years of foot service. They were purchased in 2006 as Ashley started her Junior year of college and carried her through her upperclassman courses, as well as her first year as a real grown up. Ashley's Pumas had a great life and were loved by many. They are preceeded by a new pair of Puma shoes.

RIP my beloved Pumas. I will miss you and remember you always.

Oh, Hey! It's a special day!

Oh, hey blog! What's up!? Sorry I've been ignoring you for a while. A month and a day to be exact. I've just been super swamped at work and haven't had time to think about bloggable things.

Today however, I had a very special day at work and thought that you may be interested in hearing about it. Not much happened, really. Except that I found out a client of mine's apartment had been raided by the police. "Why?", you ask - well, they were harboring a fugitive. Some guy who has had a warrent out for his arrest for quite some time and, from the sounds of it, has been staying there for a few months. "Well, is your client ok?". Oh, blog -you're so considerate. My client is doing ok. They did not happen to be there at this time as they were out on a drug run. No word yet on if they will face charges of any kind. They will however, be exiting my program.

Well, that's the news of the day. Thanks for listening, blog. You're the best!

Love,
Ashley

Today

I was watching some kids when I was at Lydia Place and we were coloring together. One of them asked me to draw a picture of her and her brother. In all of my artistic glory I proceeded to draw two stick figures with what I thought were pretty nicely drawn faces. Upon seeing the picutre she burst into tears saying that it was ugly and didn't really look like her and that I gave her ugly boy hair (despite the clearly drawn bangs and shouldler length hair). A couple mintues later I got up to get her brother who had left the table and when I came back she had crumpled up the paper and thrown it under the table so "no one could reach it".

I know I'm not the world's best artist, but I'm really hoping this was more of a "5-year-old-tantrum" kind of a thing rather than an "I-traumatize-children-with-my-unartistic-abilities" thing.

The Ultimate Beauty Tool

Did you know that Q-tips are (as they say) the "ultimate beauty tool"? Well, neither did I until Brian bought 1,000 of them at Costco last week and I happened to be reading the package sitting on our counter while getting ready this morning.

How are they the ultimate beauty tool you may ask? Unfortunately I cannot enlighten you as none of the listed "variety of uses" are related to beauty, and I for one, have never used a Q-tip as such for myself.

The variety of uses are oddly notable however, so therefore I will note them.

Use 1: FIRST AID - you can use Q-tips to gently apply ointments and creams.
***Screw using your God-given fingers...Q-tips will not only apply the ointment but leave you feeling warm and fuzzy by catching strands of cotton in your open wound.

Use 2: ELECTRONICS - Clean and dust hard to reach spaces (the picture is of someone dusting their keyboard with a Q-tip).
***First, that's simply rediculous. Second, I feel as though for almost any other electronic, a Q-tip would still be too big and too silly to clean in any hard to reach place.

Use 3: BABY CARE - Delicately care for sensitive areas (the picture is of a Q-tip on a baby's cheek).
***Ok, so maybe this one could be sell-able. But I do want to know what they are rubbing for fun on the baby's cheek.

Use 4: HOUSEHOLD USE: For all household cleaning.
***I would like to let you know that the picture for this one is someone holding a Q-tip in a bathroom shower against the tile as if they were to clean. I pray for the poor soul who has to clean their tile shower with a Q-tip. If I were to try and use a Q-tip to try and clean my the shower in my old college house, it would probably disintegrate and maybe even burn away at the Q-tip.

Thank you Q-tips for trying to convince us your product is worth more than it really is. It was valliant effort and you almost had me fooled.

For now however, I will continue to remain using Q-tips for the one and only purpose that I have ever found them to be good for...to clean my ears. Although this kid found some other good uses for them...

WHY I LOVE DANCE FOREVER

and

Tour de......Whatcom?

The Tour de Whatcom is a real thing. It happens August 1st. It is also a real thing that Brian will be participating in. He will be doing the 50 mile leg. He bought a bike last week and already did 30 miles the other day. Pretty impressive actually! The thing he is most excited for about the race? The jersey. Also, he was the cutest and probably the most excited about this than anything ever! Who wants to come watch with me??????

Why?

As I previously mentioned, Brian is the most obsessed with le Tour de France (a 20 day long journey all across France as we learned). To him and everyone else, I would like to ask this question: Why? Why in the world is this so cool? WHY?

I have been watching now for half an hour and do you want to know what's happened? Nothing. A million guys on a million bikes have biked. In one large clump. That's it. That is the only thing that has happened. Yes, they have gone through some curves and yes, a few people have changed their position, but that is actually it.

And this happens for 4-6 hours a day. And all of it is broadcast. FOR 20 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! How can so many people watch a large group of people do nothing exciting but ride their bikes for that long for that many days!?!?!?!?

I don't get it....

Something else I found out was that they ride in teams. Even though one person still wins, they are on a "team". I don't get that either.

I'm going to rename le Tour de France. It's new name is le Tour de Dumb.

Fact or Fiction?

I just saw a client of mine on a commercial for Whatcom Credit because they helped her reasonably buy a new car.

FACT.

Seriously?

And whoever has heard of "Whatcom Credit"?

Hmmmmmm...

Brian has been the most obsessed with the Tour de France. I don't know why...maybe cause he wants to buy a roadbike, but he's pretty much been watching it 24/7.

Today, I found out that the race is 20 days long. I asked him: "Why is it 20 days long? Why is it not like a normal race?".

To this, my husband replied: "Well, it is a tour of France."

It was at this moment that I realized for the very first time it was named the Tour de France because it was a Tour of France. A race all over the county of France. Not just a race in France.

Good thing they still let me have a college degree.

Suckers.

I Bet You Never Knew...

Today my boss called me into her office because she had received an L&I claim. She proceeded to tell me that when she gets these, she usually freaks out because an employee has cited an "on-the-job" injury and our rates skyrocket. She began to freak out this time, as expected, until she realized that it wasn't an employee or anyone making a claim against us. It was a statement from L&I informing us that one of my clients had claimed ME as their MEDICAL SERVICE PROVIDER. Bet you never knew I went to medical school did you? That's probably because I didn't. I went to Western Washington. For Human Services. And I'm a HOUSING case manager. I focus on HOUSING. I helped her get a HOUSE.

Mind you, this is the same client that answered the door with no pants on and always tells me about "the aliens".

Anyways, I had to call her today and have her change it, so L&I could have accurate legal information. Kinda too bad though...Dr. Ashley has a nice ring to it...

8th Wonder of the World

My favorite thing in the entire chip world, and possibly in the entire unhealthy world, is FLAMIN' HOT CHEETOS!!


This bag holds so much deliciousness, I can't even explain. I honestly think that my body has a physical addiction as I can down one large back in a sitting. I don't understand my desperate need for FLAMIN' HOT CHEETOS in my life, but I'm so glad that God gave them to me. The only thing that I am unsure about is how too, like regular Cheetos, they are made with REAL CHEESE.

Dear Frito Lay,
Please tell me how this is possible.
Love,
Ashley

Funny Forever

This is funny forever. Who does it remind you of?

Syke!

I remembered something awesome about my life! Last Thursday I was having a bad day...but then I went into Wise Buys (the thrift store my office is connected to). In one glorious moment, I looked up and saw the most joyous thing I had seen in 13 years...a Snoopy Sno Cone machine!!! Not just any old Snoopy Sno Cone machine, but the exact same one that I used to have when I was 5 and it was my favorite present forever! The best part was that it was only $.50, so buying it was pretty much a no brainer! I definitely made some awesome Snoopy Sno Cones that night. Now that I am a grown up, I can also put awesome things like alcohol (such as Kahlua) in it. Being a grown up is awesome.

Boring.

My life is boring. I have nothing to blog about. My life is boring.

That's kind of not true. Work is pretty much the craziest place to be right now. I do lots of things there and lately I have been working through lots of crisises with clients, but that is not fun to blog about. So I don't.

Sidenote: I really like wine. Wine is my favorite. Glass in hand as we speak...

Pedal to the Metal

Today I went to the mall. On my drive home, I went on the freeway and as I got on the on-ramp, I immediately began flooring it to accelarate my car (literally, the pedal was on the ground). My car finally was barely reaching 60 mph was I was passing the next on-ramp. Awesome.